Dealing with Unsolicited Advice & Comments

Dealing with Unsolicited Advice & Comments About Your Hair

"Just shave it bro." "Have you tried rosemary oil?" "My uncle was bald and he was fine." When you start losing hair, everyone becomes an expert. Here's how to handle it.

The Common Comments & How to Respond

"Just Shave It" (The Most Common)

What they mean: Well-intentioned (usually), trying to ease your worry

Why it's unhelpful: Dismisses your feelings, assumes you want advice

Response options:

Direct: "I appreciate the thought, but I'm treating it and that's working for me."

Deflect: "Yeah, that's always an option down the road."

Humorous: "I'm not quite ready for the Vin Diesel look yet."

"My [Friend/Uncle/Cousin] Tried [Random Treatment] and It Worked!"

What they mean: Genuinely trying to help

Why it's unhelpful: Anecdotes aren't evidence, creates decision paralysis

Response: "That's interesting! I'm working with my doctor on an evidence-based protocol. If anything changes I'll keep that in mind."

"You're Too Young to Be Losing Hair"

What they mean: Expressing surprise/sympathy

Why it's unhelpful: Makes you more self-conscious

Response: "Genetics are weird. I'm handling it though."

"Have You Tried [Natural Remedy]?" (Rosemary Oil, Onion Juice, etc.)

What they mean: Concerned about medication side effects, prefer "natural"

Why it's unhelpful: Natural doesn't mean effective

Response: "I've looked into natural options. I'm going with medical treatments that have 30+ years of research."

"Bald Guys Are Attractive/Confidence Is All That Matters"

What they mean: Trying to boost your confidence

Why it's unhelpful: Dismisses your desire to maintain your hair

Response: "Totally agree confidence is key. And for me, part of confidence is taking care of my appearance how I want to."

When Family Gets Involved

Parents Concerned About Side Effects:

Their fear: "I read finasteride causes permanent erectile dysfunction"

Your response: "I understand your concern. The actual risk is 2-5%, and studies show it's reversible. I've done my research and talked to my doctor. I'll monitor carefully."

Follow-up if they push: "I appreciate you caring, but this is my decision to make. I'll let you know if I need support."

Siblings Teasing:

The joke: "Haha, you're going bald!"

If it bothers you: "Yeah, I am. It's something I'm working on. The jokes don't really help."

If it doesn't: "Yep, just like Dad. At least I started treatment early unlike you will."

Coworkers & Professional Settings

When Colleagues Comment:

The boundary: Hair loss is personal, not appropriate for workplace small talk

If someone comments: "I'd prefer not to discuss my appearance at work." (Polite but firm)

If it continues: "I've asked you not to comment on my appearance. Please respect that." (More direct)

Work Culture & Banter:

If joking about each other is normal: You can choose to join in or set a boundary

If it crosses a line: Private conversation: "Hey, I know we joke around, but the hair stuff actually bothers me. Can we drop it?"

Dating & New Relationships

"Why Do You Take Pills Every Day?"

Early dating: "Oh, just a hair loss prevention medication. Pretty common."

Getting serious: "I started finasteride a couple years ago to prevent hair loss. Works well, no issues."

If they express concern: "I appreciate you caring. I've researched it thoroughly and I'm comfortable with the risk-benefit profile. Happy to share more info if you're curious."

The "Hair Transplant in Turkey" Comment

The unsolicited advice: "Just go to Turkey and get a transplant!"

Why it's reductive: Transplants need finasteride/minoxidil for maintenance, they're not magic

Response: "Transplants are cool, but you need to maintain with medication anyway. I'm doing that first, might consider a transplant down the road."

Setting Boundaries with Repeat Offenders

The Script:

"Hey, I know you mean well, but I've got my hair situation figured out with my doctor. I'd prefer if we didn't discuss it unless I bring it up. Thanks for understanding."

Tone: Calm, friendly but firm

If they ignore: "I've asked you not to bring this up. I need you to respect that boundary."

If they still don't stop: Reduce contact or involve third party if necessary (HR for workplace)

When Strangers Comment

Barber: "Your hair's getting thin, you should try [product]."

Response: "I'm already treating it, but thanks."

Random acquaintance: "Dude, you're losing your hair!"

Response: "Yep." (Uncomfortable silence is their problem, not yours)

Reframing Your Mindset

Most Comments Come From:

• Awkwardness: They notice change, don't know what to say
• Projection: Their own insecurities about aging/appearance
• Genuine care: Trying to help (poorly)

Rarely from malice. That doesn't make comments okay, but understanding intent helps you respond calmly.

You Owe No One an Explanation:

You don't have to justify:

• Why you're treating hair loss
• Which treatments you chose
• Why you haven't "just shaved it"

Your hair, your choice, your business.